Shower Rules

Shower Rules

Iron man training has provided me with yet another assessment of life’s mysteries.  Given my great disdain for weight training, it never occurred to me that fitness centers (in this case LA Fitness) needed to develop “Shower Rules.”  During a recent visit I observed numerous disgusting and maybe perverted practices.

1.       You must cover yourself when walking to the showers.  Especially parts that flap in the breeze.

2.       LA Fitness has 10 showers.  Five on one side and 5 on the other.  When entering the shower area it is unacceptable to use a shower directly across from an occupied shower.  Especially when 9 of 10 showers are vacant.

3.       When using a shower you must pull the curtain closed.  Especially if you occupy a shower directly across from someone else.  I really don’t want to see you rubbing yourself down with soap.

4.       When you have finished your shower you must towel off in the shower, preferably with the curtain closed.  Air drying by walking nude around the locker room is strictly prohibited.    

5.       This is important, no bending over with your naked backside facing the aisle to put your socks on.  Sit on the bench like all the others.  This is especially true if near the entrance or exit doors.  No one wants an uninvited face full of ass.