Ben Gay Butt Run - Summer 2006

I had the opportunity to experience a whole new kind of pain today.  I should have known not to do a solo run along the Trinity River this morning.  I was at cruising speed at mile 12 of 26, taking in the sights and occasional overwhelming olfactoryness of the Trinty River, and feeling invincible in the inaugural wearing of my RAW shorts. 

I lifted the right foot.  In the first half-second I noticed the development of a small ball in the right cheek.  I thought, that’s odd…. never noticed that before.  In the next half-second I planted my right foot and WHAM, a severe shooting pain from the hip to the ankle.  “Ouch” does not begin to describe the four letter words emanating from my mouth.  Recommendations for how not to experience this new-found sensation are welcome.

I stopped and began using both hands to massage the right cheek.  Several passer-bys were quite intrigued with an older male seemingly groping himself.  Of course the massage therapy and the strange looks were repeated every half-mile for the next two miles.  At this point I  reached my car. 

Something else I learned today.  Ideas that come to you while running should be acted on with great reservation.  While limping back to the car, I thought if I applied a generous portion of BenGay to the right cheek I might be able to finish the last 12 miles.  Just in case, I also thought that what was good for the right cheek would be good for the left cheek.  All was in good order for about 5 minutes, at which point I thought someone was using a torch on my back side.  There needs to be a giant label on the BenGay tube that states, “DO NOT APPLY TO YOUR BUTT.”  I would ask for recommendations on how to avoid this new pain, but I think I have it figured out!