Get Over the Hill

It's a Hill. Get Over It!

T-Roy

Well, well, well.  What’s a person to do with this prophetic saying from the back of a running shirt?  I suppose it could be a motivational quip inspiring one and all to rise above the crest of the hill in victorious elation.  But then again, inspiring others to do well just isn’t my style.  In the spirit of just tell it like it is, I’m inclined to believe the message, “Get over it!” has more to do with being annoyed from listening to your whiney commentary about how much you are dreading the next “Big Hill.”    

Conquering the hill is a combination of physical and mental acumen.  Since you are reading this article, you probably lack both the physical ability and mental acuity to make the climb.  You can blame me for highlighting your misgivings, be a whining wussie, or do something to get better.  The first step is admitting you have a problem!

Some runners don't like hill running because “It's hard.”  Poor baby.  It’s “hard,” because you don’t train “hard enough.”  Ask Michelle B. where the crying tree is located.  You might need one.

Are you tired of being the only one walking the up hills?  If you answered  NO, then flip the page.  This article is not for you and I don’t want you misrepresenting the facts at a later date.  If you answered YES, then I have a few thoughts for you.

Suggestions for the physical component:  When going up:  Lean forward.  We are not talking sit-ups, just a slight lean into the hill.  You don’t want to face plant while others are watching.  Use your arms.  You would think this should be easy for the push-up freaks.  Problem is the freaks over work the arms, the muscles get tight and can’t be straightened.  Ever see a weight lifter walk?  Arm motion is a big problem for a lot of runners on hills and when doing speed work.  Keep the arms low and forward of the body.  If you are thumping your chest or protecting your boobs, then your form is working against you.  Checking your hand to the hip every once in a while is an easy way to maintain an awareness of your arm position.  Pay attention to the foot-strike.  Shorten the stride and step lightly.  If done correctly, the flat surface long stride and uphill short stride count rate should be close.   If you can’t count past 10 you might be in trouble or a Texas A&M grad.

When going down:  Stay perpendicular or forward.  Most hill whiners are afraid of the speed and "lean back."  Two words, “BIG MISTAKE.”  Leaning back causes you to brake and jamb your feet to the front of your shoes (Ever have black toe nails?).  The “I’m Afraid,” position also causes a hard heel strike (ouch!).     You can’t beat gravity, so be one of the few runners that can take advantage of the extra boost.  Amazingly enough, your legs will find a way to stay in front and keep you from breaking your neck.   Control your speed.  Speed is maintained with a mix of stride length and the degree of forward lean. 

Suggestions for the mental cases:  Call the RAW Runner Assistance Program (RAP) hotline.  The line is staffed by Trackies and Hillbillies who never answer the phone or return a call.  They are available on Tuesdays and Thursdays for one-on-one therapy sessions.   Don’t look at the top of the hill.  The view is always better from the top than at the bottom.  Keep your eyes 15-20 yards in front of you.  Pick a pace you can maintain.  This is a big confidence boost as you master the incline.  If you do find yourself slowing down, switch to hill intervals (20 seconds fast, 5 seconds slow).  This will also maintain your confidence and give you several brief rests on the way to the top.  Intervals will also keep you focused on your watch and not looking at the top of the beast.  Run thorough the crest of the hill.  You’ll gain speed at the top and get another confidence boost for having aced the test.   

Now that you know the secrets to unlock the mystery, you should start practicing with the Hillbillies.  They meet every ODD THURSDAY at 6:00PM for a 6 mile hill course at Parr Park.  Remember, Walking Hills is for Wussies!